How can we then change, take control over and reprogram the responds to benefit us?
How can we use it to help us make more money, more fun, more love, more happiness, more freedom, more time and anything else we desire?
If our automatic respond is negative and hurting us, we must then take control of it and learn how to reprogram ourselves. The best way to start is to pay attention to it.
Start paying attention to how you react. For example lets say you needed the car to go to an important meeting, you asked your spouse to be home in time so you won't be late to your meeting and now your spouse is late!
Their action of being late is obviously influencing you and you in relation react. What would be your automatic respond at that moment? what do you see yourself doing in that situation?
Are you going to react and get mad? and if so, is that going to help you or harm you? is getting mad a good thing for your health? is it getting mad going to help you think clear and find a solution?
The answer is NO. It won't help you! but most of us will get mad. Most of us will get on the revenge mode and when we have an opportunity to "pay them back" we usually gonna do it...
Reacting is the main cause for divorces, failure in business partnerships, failure of any relationship. Reacting in most cases hurt someone on the receiving end, but yet, we all do it.
What causes us to react?
Everything around us. We live in a dynamic world, everything is at action all the time.
What determines our reactions:
Our automatic responds.
Most of us are programed to react based on our emotions. If someone says something bad to us, we attack... when someone does something we don't like, we get mad...when someone insult us, we get insulted...I can give a million examples, you know what I am talking about.
We allow others to have total control over our feelings and emotions when we are reactors. We allow others to stir us in any direction they choose. As long as we stay reactors, we will always be under someone else control, we lose our power.
Reacting is using your emotions, responding on the other hand is using your logic.
Most people in the world are reactors and very few are responders. A funny thing is, ALL successful people, ALL prosperous people are responders. They take the time to think before they answer, before they get in action, they make calculated decisions and only then they act.
We all need to learn how to control ourselves, control our automatic respond and learn to think before we act, become a responder!
ARE YOU A RESPONDER OR A REACTOR?
More on that tomorrow...
With love and commitment to your success
Ran Biderman
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